So, bathroom etiquette is a huge thing for me. I get grossed out pretty easily when people to gross shit. I understand that’s the whole purpose of a room dedicated to bodily function, but still.
Had a strange run in last week that just won’t leave my mind. So, there’s this guy I work with who’s flamboyantly off kilter. Wears in pink zebra print chucks, Sponge Bob shirts, complete with salt and pepper beard. He’s middle aged and weird as fuck.
I write for a major company, let’s call it Nerd Paradise. Lots of geeks are guzzling down coffee or gross meals in between arguing about Dr. Who or which Hulk was better (consensus is green over grey) and these geeks LOVE to hit the bathroom. There is always someone in the can.
Last week, post lunch and nooner coffee time, the bathroom is jacked. All the stalls are occupied. Homeboy in the pink shoes, posts up and breaks out his TABLET and just waits it out. Mind you there are many other bathrooms in this building, but he’s waited to grab a seat, complete with his own commentary of sound. If I see a wall of closed stall doors, I’m hitting the bricks to find sanctuary.
As soon as I finish up I open the door and he’s there - I was a little taken aback because as soon as I came out - he rushed in.
Therein lies the problem: who the fuck wants to grab the warm seat? I can’t think of something as revolting as hurriedly getting on the throne fresh after someone. Butt heat is gross heat.
I’ve unknowingly came in after someone and my stomach turns as soon as my skin feels some else’s poop warmth.
I can’t be the only person who finds this weird. Waiting out a seat, knowing you’re getting the hotness, as well fresh stink. That’s strange business right there. AND you bring the tablet! The rest of us use our cell phones, this guy was in for the extended stay.
Butt warmth - just say gross.